


you just weren't built to be happy

by Polyhexian



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, MAJOR lost light spoilers issue 16+, POV Third Person, canon fudgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22585960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: An alternate take on how the Lost Light crew figures out something isn't right on Mederi with the Afterspark.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	you just weren't built to be happy

Rodimus waved as the second group of confused crewmates arrived at his location, and Swerve was the first to transform and run forward towards Ten's still form, plating warped and grey.

"Aw, buddy…" he said, servos wavering above him.

"If it's any consolation," Rodimus said, turning toward him, "he died happy. As in, super happy. As in ecstatic."

"Ecstatic being the keyword," Swerve sighed, sitting back and resting his arms.on his knees, "he was happy because he knew he was about to ascend."

"Since when are we in the business of it being a consolation someone was glad to be dead?" Whirl grumbled, shifting his pedes as he looked around, confused. 

"He was already dead," Swerve answered, "we all are."

"Huh?" Whirl said, snapping his optic back to him with a shake, baffled. 

"Well, that would certainly explain the matrix," Velocity commented, staring up to look into the open cavity of the Matrix of Leadership she could see glittering overhead.

"Bigger than I remember it being," Rodimus added, a bit nonplussed, "What do you mean  _ dead _ ?"

"We evacuated into compressed space," Cyclonus said.

"And that  _ killed _ us?" Whirl scoffed, following Velocity's line of sight into the sky.

"It makes sense," said Swerve, shaking his head, "There was no way to survive compressed space. And here we are: the  _ Afterspark _ , in all its Glory. We're  _ dead _ ."

"I don't understand-" Whirl started.

"You guys are taking this being dead thing surprisingly well-" Rodimus interrupted, sounding irritated.

"Ratchet, you should see the look on your face!" Drift laughed as he transformed, and Rodimus turned toward him. "After years of stubborn atheism, how does it feel to be wrong? To be standing under the Matrix itself, in the plateau of the  _ Afterspark! _ "

"Guys, I don't-" Whirl tried again.

"Bah!" Grumbled Ratchet, though he seemed somewhat rattled, "I'm not convinced this  _ is _ the Afterspark."

"Explain the Matrix, then," argued Swerve.

"Easy," Ratchet said, staring upward and putting his servos on his hips, "it could be-"

"Holy smokes,  _ Pipes _ ?" Rewind hollered, interrupting him.

"Pipes?" echoed Whirl, squinting his optic as he turned to look at Rewind, and then followed his line of sight.

"Pipes?!" Rodimus gaped, "that's crazy, Pipes is- you're-"

"That's a little harder to explain," Ratchet said, letting his arms drop, momentarily without a gruff statement to undermine the situation.

"What are you guys talking about?" Whirl said, throwing his claws in the air, "What's going on?"

"Whirl, try to keep up for once!" Chromedome groaned, "We are  _ dead _ , we are in the  _ Afterspark _ , and that means-"

Rewind gasped, "It means we can see everyone we've lost again, like Pipes, like-"

"Dominus," Chromedome finished, voice a whisper. Whirl whipped around when he heard Cyclonus gasp.

Cyclonus took a step back, turning, and froze when Whirl grabbed his upper arm in one claw, giving him a terrified, wide opticced stare.

"Cyc," he said, vocalizer shaking, "Don't go. Something is wrong."

"Whirl-" Cyclonus stammered, voice strained, optics searching his long time enemy's optic for something, and not finding it, "I have to."

He shook Whirl's claw off his arm and took two more running steps, transforming, and shooting off into the horizon. Whirl watched him, arms hanging limp, before he turned back to the group.

"It's Springarm!" said Roller, looking near tears, "Can you believe it!"

Whirl looked away from them again, at Cyclonus's quickly disappearing silhouette, then rejoined the group. Everyone was chattering, ten conversations going at once.

"Rodimus," Whirl said.

Rodimus shook his head, turning toward him, "I don't think I've ever heard you call me by anything but a stupid nickname," he commented, blinking.

"You know what the Matrix looks like for sure, yeah?" Whirl asked, "Like, you been real up close and personal with it, huh?"

"Yeah," Rodimus confirmed, cocking an optic ridge in confusion. People had started staring, growing quieter.

"And that up there," Whirl said, pointing vaguely upward, "Is definitely the Matrix, right?" 

"As far as I can tell," Rodimus said, looking back up, "Where are you going with this?"

"Who here has never seen the Matrix?" Whirl asked, looking around.

A few scattered servos went up. Whirl pointed at Nautica.

"You. You ain't even from Cybertron. You guys been cut off for millennia."

"Yes," she said, hesitantly.

Whirl pointed upward again, "Describe the Matrix. In detail. Actually, better yet-" he pulled a datapad out of his cockpit and held it out to her, "Draw it."

"What?" she said, looking between him and the datapad she was being offered, before taking it, hesitantly. She sketched quickly, but deftly, then handed it back. Whirl held the datapad out to Rodimus.

"Is that right?" 

Rodimus stared at it, confused, before snapping his head back up to the sky, then back down to the datapad. "I don't understand."

"I'm sorry it's not better drawn, geez," said Nautica, starting to look somewhat embarrassed, "I was on the spot."

"Why did you draw the crystal part pink?" Rodimus asked, baffled, and several people crowded around him to look at the datapad, mumbling.

"Uh… because it is?" Nautica said hesitantly.

"No," said Brainstorm, "it's blue. Cyan, to be specific."

Nautica looked up, "No, it's definitely pink. Like it's supposed to be."

"Definitely blue," commented Rewind, following her optics.

"I knew something funny was going on," Ratchet said, looking up and putting his servos on his hips. "It's gotta be some kind of projection or something."

"Perhaps it's some kind of psychic hologram," Brainstorm suggested, "showing us something we expect to see when we're dead!" 

"It's certainly not what we  _ expect _ to see when we die," Ratchet scoffed, "I  _ expected _ there to be nothing."

"I expected to be in more trouble, honestly," mused Rodimus.

"How did you figure that out, Whirl?" asked Brainstorm, turning back to him. The helicopter was staring straight up into the sky, arms hanging limp, winglets sunken.

"'Cuz I don't see  _ anything, _ " he said, after a moment, "Just grey planetoid, empty buildings, empty sky. There's no dead folk here, no Pipes, no Springarm- not that he'd wanna see me, anyway- no Matrix."

"Whirl-" Rung started, moving past Chromedome with an aura of concern.

"Why wouldn't it work on Whirl?" Rodimus blinked, gesturing wildly at him, "Why only him?"

"Maybe it's the empurata?" Brainstorm suggested.

Whirl collapsed onto his aft, crossing his legs and staring at the ground.

"Maybe he's just so crazy whatever it is couldn't figure out what he wanted to see when he died?" Chromedome suggested, watching him sit.

"Whirl, you don't need to-" Rung started, but Whirl waved him away. 

"It knows what I want," he laughed, staring stubbornly at the ground, "it's just showing me it  _ literally _ . It's showing me nothing."

**Author's Note:**

> I was talking to someone about Whirl the other day and this concept hit me like a truck and I couldn't even find a good way to VERBALIZE this thought but.... Everyone shows up on mederi and the psychic folk show them all a vision of what they want to see from the afterlife, combining their expectations to create on coherent reality that they could all mostly buy. Problem is.... Whirl has been actively suicidal since issue one where he tried to light himself on fire, and then the original plan to get Megatron off ship was to get Megatron to kill WHIRL, and then he tried to kill himself AGAIN for the sparkling.... Whirl has been LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE to die since day one, but his desire from death is so wildly different from everyone else's it can't be reconciled. He isn't looking for an afterlife or heaven or hell, he's looking for life to END- whirl's desired effect of dying is for there to be nothing, for things to just stop. ...so that's what they show him. Nothing. Whirl is so actively suicidal it just breaks the whole system. They have nothing they can show him he would both believe and want.


End file.
